Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
