I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
