My friends, they love my intelligence
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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