Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
50% drunk capacity currently
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
