I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
