Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
