hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
