I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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