i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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