Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize