and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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