remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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