He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
