I heard we made out
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
