if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
