Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Vodka?
Forever.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
