in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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