Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sorry my hands just texted you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
