morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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