how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
