Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
