Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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