Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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