Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
