dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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