His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Pants are for mortals
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have post one night stand depression
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