So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
