Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
