just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
