overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
