I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
