he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He? As in you personified your dick?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
