Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
