the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Found your dick twin last night
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
