I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
