you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
