we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
