Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
