Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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