shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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