remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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