some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
