Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
