Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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