There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize