good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
