How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
