I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
