ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
