so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
