4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
