the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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