I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize