If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
