I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Nicole vs. Life
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
