he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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