Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize