We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
