you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
