She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
high people should be assigned attendants
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
