I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
