Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
