Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize