I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
