Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
